Last Pregnancy Update

Happy Global Running Day! I'll be spending it walking on my treadmill on this rainy day, but I hope you get out for a run and thoroughly enjoy it! Besides the obvious reason of being super pregnant, read on to find out why I'm not making a run happen today.

There's a good chance that this will be the last post for a while. I don't see a whole lot changing in my fitness level or routine at this point with what amounts to just weeks to go! This is just an update on the developments recently and a reflection on my journey up to this point.

Because this is my first pregnancy, I just sort of assume that pain is part of pregnancy, and sometimes it is, but there are other times when it's not. I have a low pain tolerance, which paradoxically causes me to often suffer through pain for an extended period of time when I should speak up to a medical professional because I'm afraid that I'm just being a baby. For example, I was in extreme pain for two years before finally having my gall bladder removed when I was only 19 years old. As it turns out, my family has a history of gall bladder disease, and I should have found out what was wrong much sooner.

The thing now is that around a month ago, I was playing fetch with Lucy, so I was squatting over and over to pick up the ball. All of a sudden, I felt an extreme pain that is hard to explain, but I was in pain the rest of the night sitting, walking, standing up, sitting down. The pain basically never went away, and I started researching what could be going on, and the best I could guess was that I was having some kind of pubic bone pain. It progressed over time beyond the pain where the pubic bone connects, to a soreness in my upper inner thighs, which transformed into a searing pain in my upper inner thighs, hips, and front of my pubic bone. It was painful all the time, but especially when I attempt to roll over in bed, get in or out of the car, and going up and down steps. Putting on underwear or pants? Oh man. Putting on pants brings tears to my eyes. Each and every step is painful, but some activities are even worse than other, like putting on pants. It turns out that on top of sciatica, I also have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD). The pubic bone started relaxing early, and it becomes off balance, and it is extremely painful. I'm getting chiropractic care, doing some targeted exercises, and wearing a support belt, but the pain is still there, and hopefully I will be able to rehab it pretty quickly postpartum.

I always hoped that when my husband and I eventually decided to have kids, that I would be able to run throughout pregnancy. I met many women who did when I worked in a running store, and I hoped I would be one of those women. It was hard once we started telling family and close friends because I was spending literally all day throwing up anything and everything, so running just wasn't an option, but many people would ask if I was still running. I even had a person or two, who have never been pregnant mind you, tell me to just go run. Do it anyway. You'll feel better. They had no idea what they were talking about. I eventually got medication and stopped throwing up, but I was knocked out all the time. Once I was able to stay awake and not throw up, I eased back into running slowly for short distances. Then my sciatica really flared up, and running had to be pulled back again. I learned VERY slowly over time that it's ok to adjust my hopes and goals for running during pregnancy because it's more important to pay attention to what my body is going through right now and listen to what it says I can and can't do right now. I'm more concerned with a healthy and happy baby in the end. I will say that I officially ran in all three trimesters, but the run I got in during the third trimester was probably a very bad idea just because of the SPD. The run itself felt similar to the pain levels of walking, but I was in excruciating pain that night and for several days afterward. I loved the feeling of running while I was doing it, and I am happy to say I ran during all three trimesters even if the third trimester was only one run just one mile long, but I know that walking when I can handle it with the SPD will be all I do from this point on.

Wow! I am getting BIG! Are you done growing yet, Baby?

Now it's time for me to focus on the last weeks of growing this human and recovering after he arrives. When I feel up to it, I will begin blogging my postpartum journey.

March of the Pregnant Lady...similar to a penguin, but much less adorable.

I can remember, though likely not quite as strongly as I'd actually like to, what it felt like at mile 25 of a marathon. The two miles I walked, or waddled rather, around my neighborhood today felt akin to those last 2.2 miles of a marathon. I remember the pain in my quads and hips and entire core. And I may have answered my phone at mile 25 to talk to my brother who was calling to find out if I'd finished yet, and I even told him during that exact phone call that if mile 25 of a marathon felt that bad, there was no way I'd ever be able to have kids. He assured me that he has two kids, and it would be fine. My brother thinks he's pretty clever. Let me tell you, the pain was shifted to slightly different places because being a giant pregnant lady changes how the weight is distributed, but my hips and low back were both still aching, so that was the same. Oh joy! It absolutely baffles me how much pregnancy has changed my body and my ability to do things that should be so simple. It can be frustrating at times, but I am in the homestretch, and I am excited to have my baby on the outside for walking and hopefully running in the not too distant future.

So much shadow for one person...good thing

I'm technically two people.

I am still being surprised at how much earlier different symptoms have set in, even though at this point, you'd think I'd have realized that I don't know anything about being pregnant. I have thought I was huge pretty much ever since the first trimester bloating set in, but every single day I hit a new level of, "holy crap....I'm HUGE." I should have accepted it at this point, but I'm still struggling through it. I just can't imagine how I am going to keep getting bigger. It just doesn't seem physically possible, but then I wake up the next day, and there it is...an even bigger version of myself. At 30 weeks I had officially gained 20 lbs, but my doctor has told me over and over ever since the first appointment that she thinks I will probably end up somewhere around a 35 lbs weight gain. The weight gain seems to be slowing a little. It was almost nonexistent during the first trimester and I actually lost a couple pounds at first, and then it exploded during the second, but it seems a little slower, yet still steady during the third. Baby's gotta pack on that fat, and I'd prefer he does so on his bony, sharp little elbows and knees first because these jabs are quite painful at this point!! I keep expecting to find bruising after prolonged concentrated jabs!

I didn't expect my hips to become so uncomfortable this early. I just sort of figured it wouldn't be until the last few weeks that my hips would start feeling like they were ripping away from my body, but it seems that is as well a process that starts much earlier than I had anticipated. I mean, I've had pretty bad sciatica pretty much the entire time, and I have had issues with sciatica pre-pregnancy, but this is a whole new level of being uncomfortable. The low back pain is something I'm pretty used to with the sciatica and all, but the new pains in my legs from my hips and pretty much everything else on my body shifting is not my idea of fun. I know that things will only get worse...much much worse if you count labor and delivery, before they get better, but I am counting down the weeks!!

Don't forget to follow me on Instagram for more frequent updates and lots of pictures of my four-legged running partner, Lucy!

@mdickersonruns

Runner's Rambles: Pregnancy and Winter Woes

I was pretty excited going into my second trimester even though I still had bouts of sickness up until 17 weeks. I was doing run-walk on the treadmill on a pretty regular basis, but then at around 14 weeks, I was hit with a new symptom like a ton of bricks. Really, it felt like a ton of bricks was on my chest at all times. The shortness of breath that I've been experiencing is just crazy. I had no idea there were so many symptoms that go along with pregnancy! There are so many things that nobody talks about.

For the past month, I have really been struggling with staying active. Winter is always a struggle for me because of the short daylight hours and the cold. Plus,the cold makes me want comfort food all the time to warm up. I am not a big fan of treadmills, but I am thankful that my in-laws gave us their old treadmill so that I have access to one if I need it. I am ok with running outside in the winter, but I don't feel safe running or walking through my neighborhood while pregnant during the winter. I am doing my best to get into a good routine with the treadmill anyway while I wait for Spring weather to arrive. Some days are a struggle, but hopefully Spring will be here for good soon because my basement is getting pretty boring!

The body image issues are still very very strong for me at this stage, but I'm not sure that I will ever be ok with my pregnant body. I know that it's not something you're supposed to admit, but I do not enjoy being pregnant. When I do voice my feelings about it, I pretty much always get the same responses about how I should be thankful, and you'll immediately want to do it again after giving birth, and children are worth it all, and you're really going to miss it! Sometimes those things are said by women who have their own children, and sometimes they are people who have never been pregnant. Either way, I only feel more annoyed when people tell me those things. This is going to sound like a strange analogy, but I have similar feelings when it comes to alcohol and pregnancy. I have never been a drinker really. I may have a drink here or there, but being drunk and not being in control of my own body is not something that I have ever really thought seemed like a fun thing. Now I have entered into a 40 week journey of not being in control of my own body. There is nothing I can do about the changes my body is going through, I am tired ALL the time, and there are dietary restrictions along with pregnancy. Then on top of it all, there are so many hormonal changes that cause crazy emotional swings and lots of irritability. None of this is my idea of fun. I know there are women out there who absolutely love pregnancy, and that's great for them, but I am not one of those women. Pregnancy is just a far different experience than I had ever in my wildest dreams anticipated it would be. It's tough, but I am sure parenthood is going to be just as tough, so I guess this is my unfortunate prep work.

Pregnant Lady Running...kind of: First Trimester Recap

I ran a little bit just short runs here and there after the KC half this fall, but then I found out I was pregnant. That in and of itself did not stop me from running. I ran a handful of times with Lucy between finding out and hitting 6ish weeks. I was very tired, so running just wasn't the priority for my free time. Then I got siiiiiiiiiiiiiick. Getting out of bed was hard, and I was puking... a lot. A lot.

So between 6 weeks and 10 weeks, I walked about two to three times a week, but running was off the table completely for me during that time. And when I walked, I could only make it about half a mile before I felt like I wanted to throw up or die. It sucked. I was miserable, and sad, and I didn't feel at all like myself. I also felt like a bit of a failure already. I told a few family and friends during this time, and I got some comments about me not running. Let me tell you, it's easy to judge someone else when you aren't the one throwing up in any sink, toilet, or trashcan you can find. And it made me feel like even more of a failure.

I've never been fast or some amazing runner. I have never claimed to be either. But I do love running, and I will talk about it with almost anyone who will listen. I have a running tattoo. Many people who know me are still shocked that I even got a tattoo in the first place, but I have a visible running tattoo. That tattoo led to an interesting comment from my OB at my first appointment. She told me not to run. Now, she did not say I was high risk, and she did not say there were any worries with the baby, and she didn't ask if I had just run a half marathon less than a month, and only about 10 days before the time period that was likely the conception of this child. She did however tell me not to run because I shouldn't break a sweat because it would, "boil the baby," Her words... seriously. I didn't change doctors after that because her other advice seems fine, but I am just ignoring her don't "boil the baby" remark. I am making sure to regulate my body temperature while I am running though, which is important.

At around 10 weeks I started running again, but very slowly. I am running exclusively on the treadmill for now because I don't want to drive to the trails to run in the cold and snow, and my neighborhood isn't the safest place for running the streets right now. If it were just me, then sure, but it's not now. There are no sidewalks, there are plenty of hills and curves, and people FLY through our neighborhood as if the speed limit isn't 15... which it is. So for now, I have made the choice to stick to the treadmill. I started with run-walk one day when I was feeling ok, and each day I run a little more and walk a little less, but I will take walk breaks whenever I feel like I need to, and I won't be ashamed one bit! I am excited to attend a Running Through Pregnancy Clinic at the end of January at a local running store. For now, I am taking it easy, but I am trying to run-walk at least once a week, but more often when I can and feel up to it. I know there are women who run marathons during pregnancy, and good for them, but that's not going to be me. Not even close, and I am becoming ok with where I am right now with running and not running during pregnancy.

Gearing Up

Since it is getting to be crunch time with the whole upcoming-wedding-business, I have decided that Matt and I are going to do one active/healthy thing together each week on top of our normal exercise routines. The goal is to do something that is fun, but that is still keeping us active when we are just hanging out together. I have also adopted, somewhat unsuccessfully so far, the mantra; cravings are temporary, but wedding photos are forever. I was really thrown off my routine with our trip home, and I am having far more trouble with the bad food detox than I thought I would. I am also having trouble with my previous six meal schedule. Ehhh, c'est la vie.

Today was the first installment of Matt and Michelle's Mandatory Activity Time. We went for a bike ride at a local state park. Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE state and national parks? :) It's the first time we've been back to the nearby park for bike riding since the "day I got my bike debacle." And let me tell you, putting a bike rack on your car together for the first time ever is sort of its own form of pre-martial counseling.

After the residual bike-rack-annoyance wore off, I started to finally figure out, with Matt's help, how to properly shift my gears to make things less impossible for myself. There are some seriously killer hills at this place, and my quads were on fire. I finally figured out why there are shifters on both sides! The left one is for the front gears, and the right one is for the back gears. Low gears are not very powerful, but they make going uphill easier. Higher gears are more powerful, and better for downhill and flat ground. Matt helped me get it all sorted out. I think it is difficult for me in the same way that playing a piano is impossible for me. I just can't process that many things at once, but I am getting better!