Sunday, April 24, 2016

Pregnancy Hormones: Emotional Hill Work

I have had a rough couple weeks since my shirts quit fitting, but it's more about my activity levels that are rough. I guess Mom Guilt can set in early, and I have had some experiences that have left me feeling defeated and some that have been super mood boosters!

I guess Mom Guilt has already set in for me because I feel like a terrible person anytime I leave Lucy at home instead of taking her with me for a walk. That has turned into just walking on the treadmill in the basement so she can stare at me while I walk. This has also led to issues for me when I do end up walking outside because I don't use the incline on the treadmill, so being outside in our hilly neighborhood sometimes sucks once I actually make it out the door. Matt has been helping me take Lucy for walks since I'm not really comfortable taking her alone at this point with her leash issues that have popped up. My stress levels go through the roof when she freaks out at the sight of another dog, and I am afraid of her accidentally hurting me again when she goes crazy jumping to try to get to other dogs. So I have to learn to get outside more on my own, and I will have to check my guilt at the door. Literally.

Pregnant Lady Favorites: Compression socks, Support belt, Hokas,
Nathan Insulated Hydroflask

I have had some great experiences lately and some that have left me feeling really defeated. I'm going to blame some of it on the hormones that have made me feel that way about everything for the past several months, and I will also blame them for causing me to start crying during a walk through my neighborhood while listening to an interview with Roberta "Bobbi" Gibb who was the first woman to run and finish the Boston Marathon, which she was only able to do because she bandit-ed the race in the first place. It has been rough transitioning from the treadmill to back outside because round ligament pain creeps up way more going up and down hills. On the super bright side, I remembered that I got a belly support belt when I thought I was going to be able to run more, and that has helped me to be more comfortable and excited about getting outdoors some more. The other downer recently was that I felt so great with the support belt and inspired by Bobbi Gibb that I decided to run again, and the sciatica has majorly flared up again. But I have a chiropractor appointment already on the books, so I guess I will ride my high from my tiny one mile run, and then try my hardest to refrain from getting too excited in the future because this sciatica is really not my favorite feeling in the world.
Post Run 27 Weeks
Mommy in Training!
The takeaway from the last couple weeks is that I am both excited and terrified. I have been nervous ever since I got pregnant that I would end up forgetting how much I love running and that I wouldn't make time for it after having a baby. The bright side is that I miss running so much, and I can't wait to be running again even if I am slower than slow. Running really helps me connect with nature, God, and myself. When I run, I am introspective and my heart is filled with gratitude. I like the person I am when I run much better than when I don't. Matt probably does too if we are being honest. The terrifying part is that I have extreme Mom Guilt from going out for a walk and leaving my DOG at home. Lucy is such a big deal in my life, but my son will be an even bigger deal, and how will I learn to check my Mom Guilt at the door when it comes to him? I'm not sure yet, but I will Let you know once I figure it out!

If you have not checked out the new podcast from
Runner's World, then you need to!
They've also got another one coming soon
called Human Race.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Well, SHIRT!

I have reached the point where my shirts no longer fit. It has been a rough week for me no longer having anything to wear but my husband's shirts. I've been wearing maternity pants for a while because I couldn't button my regular pants, and one of my friends wisely suggested that if I was going to buy any pants, I might as well get as much use out of them as possible. I also very graciously received some pants from one of my friends from PA. My friend Anne sent me her old maternity pants that she didn't see a need for herself anymore. I am beyond thankful! I have been able to get by wearing any bigger shirts I own, or shirts that are long that become a normal-ish fit with my belly, and then I also used long tanks to layer to make sure my belly was covered. Now, I have way too much tank top showing at the bottom to look like normal human being.

And then there was the St. Louis Blues Game Debacle of 2016. I had two shirts that fit relatively well up until last week. One was a KC Royals shirt and the other was a St. Louis Blues shirt. We were going to the Blues game with friends last Friday, and I prayed all week that it would still fit on Friday. It didn't. I may have had a little breakdown and a little bit of pregnancy rage fit throwing. This resulted in The Hubs taking me to get a new Blues shirt before we went to the game, and very briefly I felt better because I went from the women's medium shirt that no longer fit to a men's small shirt that did. I went down a size! Kind of... but not to barely fits already... and it hasn't even been a week since I got that shirt.

Mommy and Baby's first NHL game in person!
He didn't seem to care for all the noise.

I have very graciously had some maternity shirts given to me from a couple different people, but unfortunately they are all a size large. I generally wear a women's small or sometimes medium shirt. I'm not that tiny in real life, but I have very small boobs, so I don't need any extra space to accommodate like many women do, so though the rest of my body is proportionally a medium to large, my chest is an extra small to small, so I usually end up with a small shirt. Because maternity clothes account for the expanding belly and boobs (PS my boobs still fit into my very small bra just fine at this point), I need a small maternity shirt. I have two maternity tanks that helped in wearing normal shirts up to this point, and I recently bought a single maternity t-shirt. The tanks are a small and a medium. I bought the medium first because I felt HUGE at the time, and I feel like I am showing so much faster than most other women I see around the same stage as me. Again, I know every pregnancy and pregnant body is different, but my stomach just sticks out like crazy. Well, the medium tank is too big, and I get the feeling it will always be just a little too big even as I keep growing...unless my boobs decide to catch up suddenly, which probably won't happen, and that's ok!

After spending several days in The hubs' shorts and shirts lounging around the house without any makeup and barely fixing my hair (I keep it short and have to straighten my otherwise very unruly hair-think Hagrid from Harry Potter),I was feeling pretty gross and unhappy with my current state. Then I realized that I have been spending a lot of time this week just looking at old pictures of myself. Pictures from the last few years leading up to this pregnancy just to check and see what I used to look like. I just wanted to reassure myself that this giant belly that is starting to get in my way hasn't always been there because it's hard to remember what simple tasks were like before. I spent so much time all bloated, and then I suddenly had this giant stomach sticking out, and I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't always there. I can't believe I still have SO FAR to go. Granted, I was asked to fill out the hospital registration for L&D this week at my doctor's appointment, so I'm sure the rest of this pregnancy will begin to really fly by. *Fingers Crossed...sort of.* If it could fly by without my belly expanding any further while the baby continues to grow, then that'd be great, but that most obviously won't happen.
See! Proof!! I used to be able to see my feet
and bend over without having an obstruction.

Oh, and washing the dishes was much easier back then.

But I seriously need to stop looking at these.