Out of Focus

"Contemplative simplicity isn't a matter of circumstances; it's a matter of focus."-- Ann Voskamp

As I went out for an evening run last night, I was just sort of off. Night time runs have a different set of obstacles than day runs. There is the heat radiating up instead of beating down, plus the bugs that go up your nose or in your mouth, and all of that is on top of having likely used up some of your energy throughout the day. I know some people love night runs because you can run the day away, and that would normally be the appeal for me too, but I didn't do anything yesterday, and I was able to stay on sidewalks that are cooler than asphalt. I did swallow several bugs, I stopped counting around 5, but that wasn't the problem either.

I kept playing over and over again in my head the things I have been seeing and hearing about a lot lately. I think that the tragedy in Boston has brought running to the forefront of peoples conversations temporarily, but the conversations went from outraged and inspired to do something, to apathy and downgrading. Honestly, I run for me. I am running in my grandma's memory this year as well, and even though I started out to prove my brothers wrong, in the end, I am running for my physical and mental health. However, it was really getting to me for some reason that I have seen people posting things and saying things about running being stupid.

I saw a comment saying that marathons are especially stupid because anybody can do it, and everyone just says, "I finished." There was a little more to it than that, but it just kept swirling around in my thoughts as I ran. I know there are a lot of people who think it's stupid that I run in general. I know people who think it's stupid that I keep doing it even though I am slow. I know other people who just think the marathon distance is ridiculous. I just kept thinking to myself, "What the heck am I doing?" I was starting to think they were right, and that I should just give up.

I eventually put it out of my mind, and then today I had a thought creep into my head. I realized that part of my year of thanksgiving in 2013 was to be a more positive person. And the specific comment on a social media site that was plaguing me? It wasn't even posted by someone I knew. Why did it even matter? Why was I thinking about that? I could have spent that whole run thinking about how thankful I am for all the amazing things I have! Why wasn't I thanking God that I have the ability to run in the first place? In the end, I know how much discipline it takes to train. I know how running has the ability to help me appreciate nature, mobility, and life. My focus was off. I shouldn't have been annoyed with the comments and conversations, and I definitely should not have let them get me down. I have so much to be thankful for, and running is one of those things. It's all matter of focus.

National Running Day 2013

I was so pumped at the beginning of this week. It was supposed to be my first week of my break, and I was so excited to get in some quality beast-mode time. On Monday morning, I pulled my hip flexor a little. I tried to rest up and do some yoga on Tuesday. There was a little bit of soreness still this morning, but I wanted to run so badly after taking yesterday to rest up. I started off with a little bit of stretching and walking and more stretching. It is a beautiful day here in PA, and I was ready to soak it all in on a short run.

I have two different 5k routes that start/end at my house, so I decided to run the route that I haven't really been running lately to shake it up. I also set out with my old school Timex sport watch since I already knew the distance, and I just wanted to run without constantly checking my pace on my Garmin. Sometimes it's nice to just run without a specific goal in mind.

I had a few hiccups along the way today. I had to deal with crews working on power lines and road resurfacing. And then there were the more startling encounters. I saw a little bunny as I was running, and when it finally saw me, it quickly darted back out into the road, but there was a truck right there, and I may have shrieked, "NO!" as they narrowly missed the little guy. I was so scared that the bunny was going to die, and I think the driver in the truck thought I was going to die based on my reaction, but we were both fine, and I pressed on. About half a mile later, I saw a street sweeper going down a cross street, so I slowed some, and then the driver waved me on. When I was in the middle of the street directly in front of the sweeper, it suddenly lunged forward scaring the bajeezus out of me, and I sprinted faster than I have in quite awhile. (Probably not since I got chased by a schizophrenic woman.)

All in all, I guess I owe a thank you to the bunny and the street sweeper for getting my heart rate up and my feet moving because I ran my first sub 30 minute 5k today despite the soreness in my hip flexor. I am just wishing I could run that in a race. I have never been fast, and I still don't claim to be, but it was nice to run sub 30 when I really wasn't even aiming for anything other than a nice run on a beautiful day. Happy running to everyone on this National Running Day and every day after that.

Runner's Rambles: Two weeks down!

It may seems as if I've been MIA lately, but spring is a busy time for people in the education field. Now that my program has wrapped up for the year, I am ready for a one month break from work! This means that I will have lots of time to really get in some quality training and blogging! I will even be doing some of my first running while traveling, which I am sure I will have some wonderful stories from. So how have the first two weeks of marathon training been going? Of course I will tell you!

Week one was easy-peasy. I had three short runs for the week, and I managed to fit all of them in. It was only 3 miles a day, but I didn't skip any just because they were short, which I sometimes talk myself out of a run when I'm being lazy. I did have to run one of those runs in the evening after I ate dinner, but I still made it out for the day. My long run during week one was only 6 miles, and it was the cushiest 6 miles of my life. I have the best fiance in the whole world. He has agreed to help me with my marathon training by riding his bike along with me for long runs when I just don't feel like doing it, or to help out with hydration and motivation along the way. I didn't really need him to help me for 6 miles, but he volunteered to come along anyway, and I am glad that I got such a nice start to my training.

Week two was a different story. The runs were still low miles, which in theory is easy, but it is apparently summer now. I have to face the facts after this week; it is just too hot to run after early morning. I will have to really get a schedule going to get some early runs in because it is just too hot. I waited till 8 or later to run my three short runs this week, and I regretted it every time I stepped out the door. I even waited till 8 to leave for my 7 mile long run this week. I slowly plodded out 3 miles and stopped. I decided I would head out for 4 more miles in the evening when the sun wasn't beating down on my back.

There were some good parts to my week two runs though. I left inspirational messages with sidewalk chalk because last week I saw a rude message about someone written on the ground near a school. I rubbed it out with my shoe, and I knew when I saw it that part of my "year of thanksgiving" would be using my attitude of gratitude to hopefully spread some cheer to strangers, I carried the chalk in a plastic baggie that I tucked into my SPI belt. I am hoping to leave messages every once in awhile when I run now. I feel like you never know when you might brighten someone's day. And with that, I say, "bring on week three!"

National Running Day is June 5th! I will be running! Will you?

Which came first? The Chicken (of the Sea) or the egg?

"I saw an idea on Pinterest," is usually the start of a downhill story; however, I managed to make something amazing from an idea on Pinterest for the first time last week. I saw the pin a long time ago, and I had originally pinned it for my sister, but it had been floating around in my head ever since. I have found this awesome, protein-packed, breadless tuna salad sandwich to be a Pinterest victory!

Small but mighty!

I first started by making this healthier tuna salad with plain Greek yogurt instead of mayo. Does it taste the same? No, but it doesn't taste bad. It just doesn't taste the same as mayo. I also added a tiny bit of spicy mustard to cut out a little of the tartness from the yogurt. Not up for the mustard, and don't think you can handle the full flavor of the yogurt? Then add two parts yogurt to one part mayo, and at least you are limiting your mayo intake. The next part is the awesome part!

Perfect lunchbox food!

After you have prepared your tuna salad with the yogurt, tuna, and other ingredients of your choosing, slice a boiled egg in half like a deviled egg, dump out the high-cholesterol yolk, and fill the middle with the tuna salad. The protein-packed "sandwiches" are awesome for a mid-day pick-me-up! I found two eggs to be far  more filling than I had originally anticipated, and they are great for diabetics or anyone who's cool really. ;) I am not diabetic, but I generally eat on a diabetic schedule, small meals every two hours or so, because my work schedule is odd, and I have found my metabolism is slowing as I age. This helps keep my energy up, and my mood up with a small, yet filling meal every couple hours.

And in the words of my friend Rachel, "You need to eat more protein!" This is her life code basically, and I am beginning to think she might be right.

Memorial Marathon

When I was growing up, one of my biggest role models was my grandma. She was to me, the pinnacle of independence, courage, strength, and  grace. My grandma lived her life with a strong yet graceful dignity that I admire. After seeing her maintain those qualities despite losing the ability to walk and talk due to ALS, I know that I should always utilize the abilities I have because I could lose them at any time. I do value my ability to walk, run, and be active, so I know that I should take full advantage of those things. I also know that I should use the abilities I have to help other people. My grandma was always doing whatever she could to help others.

The combination of my grandma's influence in my life and the suffering she encountered at the end of her life have reinforced my determination not to give up on the goal I set for myself to run a marathon before I turned 26. My grandma was not some running junkie who would be pumped about my marathon endeavor, but she had a strength that I admire and channel, and she believed in me with a pride and confidence that most people, even myself, often do not. She was also a fighter since the day she was born. The was the only sibling born in a set of triplets to survive, and the was only the beginning of the fighting to survive that my grandma would do in her lifetime.

My grandma was so giving. She gave whatever she could, whenever she could, and she often did so silently. There were so many people my grandma helped, but when she died, my family learned even more stories from people who she had touched, but that she had never spoken a word about to anyone. My grandma was selfless, in a strong confident way because to her, it wasn't important that anyone knew of the deeds she was doing, she just believed strongly that it was what should be done, so she did it. It may have been monetary, lending an ear, saying a prayer, or giving a gift, but my grandma had an eye for those who were in need or suffering, and she always stepped up to do what was right.

When I add all the factors together, I see the best way for me to honor my grandmother's passing is to run my first marathon, while raising money to help those in need. I have set up a fundraising page in my grandma's memory through The ALS Association national chapter. I know that this is a tough economic time, but almost everyone can afford to give even a couple dollars. Please view my fundraising page, and don't forget to cheer me on as I begin my training for my first marathon this week.

Racing Recap: Delaware Marathon Running Festival

I had been nervous all week leading up to Saturday. On Saturday, the day before the race, we went to packet pickup. That was when nervousness started to turn into a self-pep-talk, hyper mode. I was impressed with all the race SWAG, and I bought a new shirt at the expo from RUseeN apparel. Their apparel is reflective, and I picked a shirt that says, "I'm slow. I know. Get over it." on the back, and a

little turtle sweating on the front. I am pretty pumped about it. After we got home from the expo, I called my running brother, and my "Anything for 10," sister. They both assured me that I would be fine.

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't eat. I tried to have breakfast, but it just wasn't happening. I had read somewhere that there would be pre-race carbs at the staring line, and I figured I eat something there. Funny thing about that, we had trouble finding parking at first, and somehow ended up on the highway driving away from Wilmington with about 10 minutes to start time. I was trying to stay calm so that I wouldn't stress out Matt while he was driving, but I must not have been very good at that since he kicked me out of the car near the start to go find parking on his own. We ended up finding each other just as the race was starting.

"Running for Grandma"

For the first few miles, Matt kept telling me that I should slow down, but I was feeding off the race energy. I knew there was a chance that I would regret it later, but my brother had advised me to just feel out the race, and ride the energy as far as it would take me. I am so glad he told me that. I was also thinking of my grandma, with today being Mother's Day. My mom wasn't always round, but my grandma was, and she was absolutely the strongest person I have ever known and probably ever will. I knew this was the first race I would dedicate to her with it falling on the first Mother's Day after her passing.

I was feeling great, and it seemed as if the whole race was going to be flat. The scenery was AMAZING! We ran along the river, through the zoo area, over the river on a neat bridge, and then it seemed as if they decided to put all the elevation gain in only one spot. Or so I thought at the time. I needed to pee so bad, but I just kept running as long as I could to get to the point where I would let myself stop to go. Matt convinced me to run ahead around Little Italy so that I could stop to use the porta potties on the loop back. He caught up right as I stepped out.

Matt's First Half

After that, I knew I needed to keep pushing because this was one of those races where I only felt how tired I was when I walked, instead of feeling refreshed after a break. I realized Matt wasn't right behind me anymore when he sent me a text message saying that he was cramping some, and that he wanted me to go ahead. I felt bad, but then he sent me a message saying that I was on track to PR. He wore the Garmin today, which I think also helped me. I knew after that message that if I wasn't going to stay with him, that I had to PR. And with his support, I felt the drive to push on and keep going when I was getting tired.

I started losing my resolve again when I rounded the corner at mile 12, and I realized Matt was right when he told me that there was a massive hill at that point. I had to walk again because I was losing my energy, and that hill was a beast. When it leveled out again, I started back into a run, and I finished with a PR 8 minutes faster than my previous PR. Overall, it was a great race, and I couldn't have done it without Matt, Grace, Joe, and all the spectators, volunteers, and even cops who cheered me on!

Talk about timing...

"When you are well prepared to meet the demands of a race, not only will your race probably go well, but your recovery should go smoothly, too."-- Susan Paul, running coach and exercise physiologist

This is printed at the bottom of this week's page in my running journal...yeahhh. It is race week, and I am suddenly reminded of how awful things went last year. I took a whole year off from the half marathon distance because of how terrible the race and recovery were last spring at the Joplin Memorial Run. Just reading that at the bottom of the page also makes every run I have skipped flash before my eyes. That includes the run I skipped today due to the spring downpour this morning.

I know that the quote is right, which I why I am so scared. I know that the race ambiance and course should be great. I have obviously never run the Delaware Running Festival before, but I can tell that the race directors take great pride in the event they put on. With this being the 10th anniversary, I know that it will only add to all the great things they normally have for the runners. This means that if the race doesn't go well, that I can only blame myself. And I NEED this race to go well. First off, I have one week off before I begin training for my first marathon! What the heck? I am about to train for a marathon! Secondly, I basically forced my fiance to run this race with me, and I really want him to love running, I would say as much as I do, but maybe I should shoot for half as much as I do, and I am banking on this race to convince him.

Ready or not, the race is four short days away. I will give a full report sometime after the race. I would like to say later that day, but there is a chance that all I will want to do is nap afterward. Then again, the race high might kick in for me to blog. Either way, in the near future, you can look forward to a race recap and the official announcement of the charity that I will be running for as I train for and run my first marathon.

Tomorrow also marks my two year running anniversary!! Happy anniversary to me! I didn't keep a running/mileage journal all year, but I have logged more than 100 miles just training for my race this weekend. You can read my one year recap if you are interested.