Postpartum Half Marathon Preparation

I have been dreading my upcoming half marathon all week. There are several reasons why I have been having a mental melt-down in regards to this race. But I'm starting to work past the mental blocks and get excited to run tomorrow. This is a long one, and it is really just a place for me to get all my thoughts out and focus before tomorrow, so read it all, or don't. Hahaha!

First of all, I know how much I did NOT train for this. I started off missing a couple runs a week, and then got on track about half way through the training, but of course, the jump in was too much too quickly, so I ended up with the worst shin splints I have ever had in my left leg. I was in pain even when I was just sitting, and I was beginning to get scared that I had a stress fracture, but after rest, and a million self-care treatments at home, and a sports massage, I got the major knot in my left calf that was causing the shin splints worked out. At that point, I had already missed my two long runs, and it was time to taper. Yes, I realized you don't really need to taper when you aren't even running. But that was what happened... that was my training. My longest run was 8 miles about a month ago, but it was an amazing run, and I really enjoyed it, so I am trying to remember that.

Secondly, and the bigger issue for me, is that I had a baby. Sure I have flaked out on my training for the majority of my races... yeahhhh... I know, but I know that my body is different now. I absolutely do not have the body that I did before pregnancy, and I never will ever again. My body has been permanently changed. Some of that, I can rebuild, but the issue is that currently, my core is SHOT, shot, shot, and I have not rebuilt it even a little bit. Believe me... it is baaaaaaaaad. So I regret not working on the major issues I needed to in order to rebuild after pregnancy before running this race, so I know it is going to be so very difficult because long distance running is SO much easier with good core and leg strength.

I needed to turn this around. I needed to get the crazy-negative narrative out of my head if tomorrow was going to end with a half marathon finisher's medal around my neck. Here's what I know, my sister Grace told me when I very first started running, that I could do anything for 10 minutes, but I was in labor without a proper epidural, which is VERY much wanted, for 29 hours. I have a low pain tolerance, and I am not exaggerating when I say I thought I was going to die during that time. I just kept wishing I could die and be done with the pain if I was never going to see my baby anyway, which I didn't think I would because I was positive that I was going to die from the pain and exhaustion before he was born. Now my being in labor feeling every contraction while Huxley was stuck on my pelvic bone was the hardest thing I have ever endured physically, but there are tons of people who have gone through so much worse both physically and mentally. I did a short, slow shakeout today to get a feel for the pace I want to run the first 2-3 miles at tomorrow, and I thought about several people who have been through so much more, or have inspired me in one way or another over the time I have known them, so I am going to give a rundown of the 14 people who will each get a mile of my run tomorrow dedicated to them in my mind while I run.

Mile 1. Sheila- This woman is not just a survivor, but a FIGHTER. I wouldn't be surprised if her picture is in the dictionary. She makes a list when she runs races and dedicates the miles, so I'm stealing her idea, and I am hoping to steal a bit of her strength tomorrow as well. She truly is an inspiring human being.
Mile 2. Julie- Julie is my friend's mom, and honestly, I've never met her in person, but I have met each of her kids, and for that alone, I can tell you she is an awesome woman based off the kids she raised, but she is also a fighter, and has battled cancer more than once, and she still continues to fight. If she can fight cancer repeatedly and still be the rock for her kids that I know she is, then I can finish a half marathon.
Mile 3. Grace- My sister who got me into running gets mile 3, and I know that she will be cheering me on from KC. We have shared so much throughout our lives, and I am glad she convinced me that running could be one of those things we could share.
Mile 4. Matthew- My amazing and stunningly handsome husband. He gets mile 4. He is absolutely the most amazing man, and he supports and believes in me without hesitation even when I don't believe in myself. To him when I shared my concerns about this race, it was absurd that I was even questioning myself at all. He loves me even when I am not very loveable, and supports me in every step I take in life. My life is better and richer because of him.
Mile 5. Myself- I'm taking mile 5. My physical and mental health matter. I matter. As a woman and a mom, it is easy to put yourself aside and tell yourself you don't matter. I do matter, and I will continue to build myself up in order to take care of myself and to remind myself that I do matter.
Mile 6. Laura & Cara- My longest friend and her mom get to share mile 6. Cara has been on my mind at nearly every race I have run. When I feel tired, defeated, or winded, I think about her battle with Lung Cancer, and I remind myself that I am not in pain if I compare it to what she endured. My friend Laura has been my rock throughout some of the craziest times in my life, and she is always there to remind me that I am stronger than I think I am.
Mile 7, 8, & 9. Melody, Rachael, & Leslie- I asked my friends in January if they wanted to sign up for a race to help hold me accountable in my training, and they jumped in for the challenge. They have probably trained even better than I have, and I am so excited for each of them as they will run their first half marathon tomorrow.
Mile 10. My Grandma- My Grandma was the strongest person I will ever meet in my whole life, and I have not a single doubt about that. She survived so much hardship and heartache without letting a single bit of it pull her down or harden her heart at all. She never even questioned why any of it happened to her. I once asked her if she ever questioned why she went through so much in her life, and she said, " Why not me? I'm no different or better than anyone else. Why would I ever ask that? People have asked me that before, but why not me?" She truly was remarkable, and I watched her lose the ability to walk and talk at the end of her life. She still never asked, "why me?'
Mile 11. Diana- She is the sweetest little girl who is so full of life. She was my neighbor when we still lived in Pennsylvania. I met her officially for the first time when she choked a couple days before Thanksgiving a few years ago, and I thought there was no way she was going to live. She was limp in my arms and her face was an ashen blue. I kept trying to save her simply because I could not look her parents in the face and tell them their precious tiny daughter was dead, so in my mind I thought, "I have to just keep trying until the paramedics get here, and they can tell them she's gone." Just before the paramedics walked in, I was able to get the object dislodged, and she gasped for air. She was fine. There was no long term damage, and I think of her every day. She is a reminder to me that our lives can be over at literally any second, and we need to make the most of whatever time we have. I am so beyond thankful that she was ok that day. I carry her in my heart everywhere I go ever since that day.
Mile 12. Erin- My friend Erin is another one of those amazing people who you meet in life, and she has such joy despite having endured challenges. Erin was hit by a car when she was running, and doctors weren't even sure if she'd be able to walk again. Erin not only can walk, but she is an amazing runner and an even more amazing human being.
Mile 13 & .1. Huxley- My baby boy. He is my whole heart. Huxley is truly my driving force in life now. I consider him in every single thing I do. Seriously, I first think of him and whatever it is he is doing before I even let myself go pee. Will it wake him if I go in the bathroom? Should I disturb him cuddling on my lap just because I feel like I'm going to pee my pants? Is he going to scream if he cant see me for a second? Every decision is made with him in mind. Being a parent does that to a person. He is also a driving force in wanting to better myself. I want to show him through example that it is important to work on yourself. I want him to know how empowering it is to set and meet goals. I want him to understand that doing things you love and pursuing your passion is important. I want so much for him in life, and running is one avenue I have to teach him several of the things I want to pass on to him. He is the best thing I have ever done with my life, so it is fitting that he gets 1.1 miles instead of just one.

Runner's Rambles: Here's what I've been up to!

It's been a minute since I posted a new blog post, right? Turns out being a mom, wife, grad student, friend, runner, and all the other positions I hold in life, takes up most of my time right now. I am fully back into the swing of running, and I love it. This is just going to be a major ramble and abbreviated catch-up because it's spring break, so I can take a little bit of the time I usually spend on homework after Huxley goes to bed to blog instead of evaluating some aspect of the current public educational system in the United States! While I find that fascinating as well, it is nice to blog about running for the first time in a long while.

My Current Training

I distinctly remember a woman from my hometown who is an amazing runner coming by the pool I worked at in high school and college to drop something off for her son who worked there as well, and she nonchalantly asked the group of lifeguards in the guardhouse if we ever wanted to run a half marathon with her. Her son told her somewhat annoyed that normal moms invite their kids' friends over for a barbecue, not to go run a half marathon. (Note to self: new future goal- be THAT runner mom.) 

I tell you this because several months ago I realized that I set a goal to run another marathon before I turn 30 when I finished my first marathon. When I realized I will turn 30 this year, I nonchalantly asked my friends, who are fairly in-shape, but not previously dedicated to running, if they would like to run a marathon with me. To my surprise, a few of them said yes.

Right now we are starting off slow and training for a half marathon that we will be running in a few weeks. I have run a 2 miler and a 5 miler so far this year, and though the 2 miler was part of what's called the Frostbite Series, it was actually MUCH colder at the St. Pat's 5 miler I just ran. My friends really are amazing for finding these other races for us to run and for training for and helping me stay accountable in my own training. 

My favorite training run so far was my 8 miler. I ran on a new (to me) paved trail, and I had an absolutely empowering run. I had one of those runs where I didn't know if I was ready for 8 miles when I set out, but I had a great time out running. I felt strong. I have been doing some real work to be a healthy mom, wife, human. I started to open up to family and friends right after Huxley was born, but I was quickly shut down with pretty judgmental and unsupportive comments when I started to talk about my postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Lots of moms have the baby blues, and lots of new moms are anxious about the new role of being a mom and figuring out how to properly care for a tiny baby, but this is not the same; I had completely crippling breakdowns on a regular (read that daily at the beginning) basis, but I started getting professional help a couple months ago, and running is something that helps to remind me how strong I am. I can overcome so many things, and running helps remind me of that. It helps me connect with myself, with my inner strength, with nature, with God. Running also helps to remind me that so many things in this life are temporary. The temporary can be good and it can be bad, but I need to remember it either way. Pain is temporary, and I will make it to the other side if I just take it in stride. On the flip-side, I know that this life, my mobility, and my youth are all things that can be gone in the blink of an eye. Running helps me embrace the temporary nature of life. The 8 mile training run I did was one of those awesomely isolating yet supremely connecting runs. It filled me with hope, joy, anticipation, humility, gratitude, and drive. I am looking forward to continuing my training to build back up to where I was before I became pregnant, and after running with Huxley in the stroller pushing around 50+ extra pounds while running, I am pretty confident that over time I will be even stronger as a runner than I was before.

My Current Favorite Things

Run, Selfie, Repeat- RSR is a blog, podcast, social media, etc. platform about an average runner named Kelly Roberts. She lets us in on the craziness that is running and life. She is the founder of the #sportsbrasquad and her new(ish) podcast is amazing. I love it because she is down to Earth, and so honest about the struggles she had overcome in both running and life. She is so refreshing in the world of running for the everyday runner like myself.

Still I Run Community- Sasha Wolff is the founder of Still;Run Community to help battle the stigma against mental health. I actually started following her on Instagram before she created the community because I saw her awesome tattoo, and that was before I was diagnosed with PPD and PPA. I love this community because I know how easily people can dismiss a mental illness or judge people who have been diagnosed with a mental illness. I know because I experienced it firsthand. I am not someone who should dismissed or held at an arm's length just because I was diagnosed with PPA and PPD. I am not a bad mom or a bad wife because I have PPA or PPD. I am NOT weak or stupid because I sought out the help of mental health professionals. I may not have support from all my family or friends, but there is a community of complete strangers who are good, kind human beings who also happen to be runners who have fought similar battles to me, and I am thankful for an opportunity to connect with others who want to ensure we end the stigma of mental illness. 

My Current Mantra- She Who Dares. This is my current mantra because it reminds me to be a daring woman. It reminds me to be an example to my son and to those around me to dare to be myself. It reminds me to dare to push myself beyond my comfort zone. It reminds me to dare to set big goals and push toward them. It reminds me to dare to be strong in the face of adversity. It reminds me to dare to be empowered. 

Stroller Running- It's been unseasonably warm, and my favorite kind of running lately is stroller running. It is difficult. It really is. If you have ever seen someone out making stroller running look easy, just realize now that it isn't, and that person is in really good shape. They are pushing extra weight, lacking arm swing on one side, and still keeping up a decent pace. (Not me. I'm so slow with the stroller right now, but those people you see making it look easy are keeping a decent pace, I'm sure.) Huxley loves going out for runs, and I am really enjoying being able to take him out with me. I am excited at the prospect of getting stronger as a runner and getting better so that I can go faster, I can take him out longer, and I can be an example for him. It's something for just me and him. I'm looking forward to the days when he will be old enough to ask me to take him with me on my runs. I'm sure when that happens there will be times when I wish he didn't want to go, but for now, I'm looking forward to it. He's pretty awesome, and being his mom is the best gig I've ever had, so being able to share this with him is pretty amazing even if my actual running with him is less than impressive at this point in time. My strength is building with each run though, and I love it!

Compression Socks- My favorite brand currently is Mojo because the quality is pretty good, and the price can't be beat. Literally. I have not found a cheaper sport compression sock. I got them off Amazon for like 12 bucks. For real. Now why am I wearing compression socks you ask? Well, you see, I had a baby last summer. And when I was pregnant, I developed a pretty bad varicose vein that I will now carry around with me for the rest of my life. Varicose veins can be downright uncomfortable, and especially so when running. Compression socks help. So now I'm that slow runner decked out in compression socks even on a short run, and if you see me, then don't judge me thinking to yourself, "really? you need compression socks chubby, slow, lady barely even going for a run?" because YES. YES, I DO. Because I have a freaking uncomfortable varicose vein, so yeah. Leave me alone. I'm not under some allusion that I am fast or that the socks will make me fast or anything like that. I just need them for my Mother Runner varicose vein-y legs! Ok? Thanks. Hahaha

Runniversary 5 Years Strong

I have made it 5 years as a runner! I started running simply to prove my family wrong. My sister was challenging my brothers to run a half marathon, and when I chimed in that we should make it a family affair, my whole family laughed and said there was no way I could ever run a half marathon. Since then I have become a lifetime Half Fanatic by running three half marathons in 50 days, and I finished a marathon while raising money for ALS research in memory of my grandma.

The races aren't even the best part of my running journey. I have had so many amazing runs in amazing places with amazing people. There have been difficult runs that challenged me mentally and physically, and those runs may not have seemed amazing at the time, but those are the runs that have made me a better person. I have met wonderful people in the running community who will be friends for life no matter the distance or time between us. I have found gratitude and strength through running. I have had the opportunity to contemplate deep philosophical and spiritual questions, and I have had the opportunity to just zone out. I have gained so much from running that I never anticipated when I started this journey.

I usually try to do some special run for my runniversary. I run my favorite route or challenge myself at a time goal for my run that day, or I run with a friend to celebrate. This year was different. I didn't run at all. I walked. Not only did I walk, but I went down to the treadmill in my basement still dressed in my pajamas, bathrobe, and flip flops. Yes. That's the truth. That's how I spent my 5 year runniversary. I am 29 weeks pregnant, tired, and relegated to walking. I didn't want to walk that day, but I dragged myself down to the treadmill to walk, slowly. I didn't really feel like it in my current state, but I did it. That's the thing. There have been times in my life when I didn't want to run, and there have been times like now when I couldn't run for various medical reasons, and in the beginning, I used to take winters off just because it was easier. But despite my groggy and tired days on the treadmill, yes sometimes in my bathrobe and flip flops, I am still looking forward to getting back to running.

I have no clue what my postpartum running journey will be. I have no clue how long it will take me to return to running, and I have no clue what I will be able to expect when it comes to distance or races in the immediate future, but I do know that I want to return to running. I am looking forward to the routine that grounds me, challenges me, opens my eyes to gratitude, builds my self-esteem, and helps me manage stress. I am happy that running will also give me the chance to set an example for my son. I will show him how to set goals, put in hard work even when it's difficult, and follow through until my goals are met. Running has done so much for me, and I know that it will be one way to set a good example for my son. I am excited for my future as a runner even though I can't run right now, and I have no idea what that future will look like, but I am excited to see where it takes me.

Pregnancy Hormones: Emotional Hill Work

I have had a rough couple weeks since my shirts quit fitting, but it's more about my activity levels that are rough. I guess Mom Guilt can set in early, and I have had some experiences that have left me feeling defeated and some that have been super mood boosters!

I guess Mom Guilt has already set in for me because I feel like a terrible person anytime I leave Lucy at home instead of taking her with me for a walk. That has turned into just walking on the treadmill in the basement so she can stare at me while I walk. This has also led to issues for me when I do end up walking outside because I don't use the incline on the treadmill, so being outside in our hilly neighborhood sometimes sucks once I actually make it out the door. Matt has been helping me take Lucy for walks since I'm not really comfortable taking her alone at this point with her leash issues that have popped up. My stress levels go through the roof when she freaks out at the sight of another dog, and I am afraid of her accidentally hurting me again when she goes crazy jumping to try to get to other dogs. So I have to learn to get outside more on my own, and I will have to check my guilt at the door. Literally.

Pregnant Lady Favorites: Compression socks, Support belt, Hokas,
Nathan Insulated Hydroflask

I have had some great experiences lately and some that have left me feeling really defeated. I'm going to blame some of it on the hormones that have made me feel that way about everything for the past several months, and I will also blame them for causing me to start crying during a walk through my neighborhood while listening to an interview with Roberta "Bobbi" Gibb who was the first woman to run and finish the Boston Marathon, which she was only able to do because she bandit-ed the race in the first place. It has been rough transitioning from the treadmill to back outside because round ligament pain creeps up way more going up and down hills. On the super bright side, I remembered that I got a belly support belt when I thought I was going to be able to run more, and that has helped me to be more comfortable and excited about getting outdoors some more. The other downer recently was that I felt so great with the support belt and inspired by Bobbi Gibb that I decided to run again, and the sciatica has majorly flared up again. But I have a chiropractor appointment already on the books, so I guess I will ride my high from my tiny one mile run, and then try my hardest to refrain from getting too excited in the future because this sciatica is really not my favorite feeling in the world.

Post Run 27 Weeks
Mommy in Training!

The takeaway from the last couple weeks is that I am both excited and terrified. I have been nervous ever since I got pregnant that I would end up forgetting how much I love running and that I wouldn't make time for it after having a baby. The bright side is that I miss running so much, and I can't wait to be running again even if I am slower than slow. Running really helps me connect with nature, God, and myself. When I run, I am introspective and my heart is filled with gratitude. I like the person I am when I run much better than when I don't. Matt probably does too if we are being honest. The terrifying part is that I have extreme Mom Guilt from going out for a walk and leaving my DOG at home. Lucy is such a big deal in my life, but my son will be an even bigger deal, and how will I learn to check my Mom Guilt at the door when it comes to him? I'm not sure yet, but I will Let you know once I figure it out!

If you have not checked out the new podcast from
Runner's World, then you need to!
They've also got another one coming soon
called Human Race.

Runner's Rambles: Pregnant Rambles 2.0

So how have things been going this week? Well, I finally shared a full-on picture of my pregnant belly, which has brought an onslaught of body image issues again. I haven't seen my family in a few months, and I'm taking online classes this semester, so there are just a handful of friends who have seen me recently. This has been coupled with feelings of sadness that running for me throughout the rest of this pregnancy is not going to be the running I usually do in the Spring and Summer. There are STILL so many times that I don't really realize that I'm pregnant. It doesn't seem entirely real lots of days except for the limitations that I experience. It has just been such a bizarre experience so far, so let's just explore it a little today.

So body image issues have resurfaced full force. When I look in the mirror, I keep catching myself thinking, and sometimes saying aloud, "I wish I was skinny still." That is actually comical in itself because before I was pregnant, I have never in my WHOLE LIFE described myself as "skinny." Pre-pregnancy, I would probably describe my body as "not quite chubby." I was always sort of just slightly smaller than being described as a chubby, not fat, but chubby person. Now, I keep feeling like I am slacking off and just letting myself get "fat." I know deep down when I actually stop to really think about it that I am not "fat;"  I'm pregnant. It's just so hard for me to reconcile the reality with the thoughts that run though my head when I see myself. There's also the issue that I feel like I am HUGE for the stage I'm in. I know every body is different during pregnancy, but I just feel like I'm so much bigger than I should be at this stage. And then there's the fear that I will never be ok with my body again after giving birth, but I'm sure that's a journey I will share with you as it unfolds.

I just want to take a second to get out some more feelings about general pregnancy before I transition into my current pregnant running update. I know that I have done quite a bit of complaining about pregnancy. And I know that there are people who are angry with me for expressing my feelings so far. I get it. I do. I know that there are some women who desperately want a child, but cannot have biological children. I am very close with some women in that situation. I know some women have had miscarriages, and I am close with some women who have experienced that tragic loss as well. I am not in their situation, so I haven't felt that deep aching sorrow. At the same time, this is my journey. And I feel like I have a right to express my feelings and experience as well. Here's a big part of the reason for my being very vocal; I didn't really know anything about pregnancy! I thought I did! Turns out that I didn't. There have been some things that I've heard about from friends, family, and movies and whatnot, but there are SO MANY things that nobody ever actually gave a real picture of to me when I learned things about pregnancy over the years. And yes, every pregnancy is different. And YES, I have had it relatively easy when you consider some women are hospitalized for different reasons or put on long-term bed rest, but as I said, though I am thankful that I was able to conceive a child, and I have had relatively few issues so far, I still feel like I should be able to voice my experience, and maybe other women who hear my story will gain a few tidbits that nobody else shared with them, and they will feel better knowing they are not the only one to have that experience.

Last thing on general pregnancy: Why do we as a society feel the need to constantly tell pregnant women that they will "miss it," and "it's all worth it," and other similar phrases? Why isn't it ok to just tell someone, "yeah, that part sucks."And why are there so many men who will never be pregnant and women who have never been pregnant who feel the need to repeat those annoying phrases!? Also, I will let the world know if I change my mind, but I don't believe for one second that I will miss being pregnant. Seriously! Why? I love my child already, and I get that this is what it takes, and it doesn't mean I won't love my child just because I don't like being pregnant. The best analogy I can conjure up right now is that my husband HATES grad school. Will the reward be worth the suffering he is going through now? YES! Will he regret having a Master's degree? No. Will he look back one day and think, "Boy, grad school was so uncomfortable and miserable, and I really miss working nearly 50 hours a week AND going to grad school on top of that." I really don't think I'll ever hear him say that. Again, I get it. Not exactly the same, but isn't it possible that some women just don't enjoy pregnancy even though they love their children? I do believe they are not mutually exclusive.

Also, if one more person asks me about my future reproductive plans while I am STILL pregnant with the first one, then I might just seriously snap. DO NOT EVER EVER EVER ask a woman, man, or couple about their reproductive plans or situation unless you are their healthcare provider or entering into a serious relationship with the person. DON'T DO IT!!!! Why is that so hard for people to understand? Alright, I lied. That was one more thing beyond the last one. But just stop if you are one of those people. You never know what a person is going through, and IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!! If a person wants to talk about their reproductive choices or situation, then they will tell you. If they don't invite you into a conversation about it, then DON'T ASK!

Now let's talk about running briefly since I went on a pregnancy rant. But hey, I'm pregnant, so it happens. I made the mistake of continuing to take Lucy with me. She just gets so sad when she sees me getting ready and can tell I'm not getting her ready to go too. I feel so bad. I know that I need to start taking her out for just a regular walk and then do my "run" separately, but it is so hard to fit everything in some days. It is so frustrating as it continues to become more Spring-like, to go out to run and to end up having to do a lot of walking. And I am only going out for a mile at a time most days. In the past, I have actually felt uncomfortable calling myself a runner even though I've been running for a few years, I have a blog, I'm a lifetime member of Half Fanatics, I've completed a marathon, and I worked in a running store. I'm normally slow. I'm a back of the packer, so even though I talk about running all the time, I still never REALLY felt comfortable calling myself a runner. And even though running has been an integral part of my life for a few years now, I didn't really realize how much until I found myself in a place where it has become increasingly difficult to continue doing what I love. If I hadn't been so miserably sick during the first and part of the second trimester, then I think I would be in a different situation now, but it is what it is, and I think in the near future I will need to resign myself to being ok with walking. For now, I will just try to be thankful for what I can do even if it is EXTRA slow and filled with walk breaks.

That was a long one! Sorry!! 

Choosing a Running Partner

We both love the Spring weather!

Ok, so I know my posts have been a little bit of a downer in regards to my fitness levels and overall disposition when it comes to pregnancy. And while pregnancy is still not my favorite thing, I think that the winter weather and my yearly bought of SAD has had a little bit to do with my annoyance and grumbling. Obviously all the things about pregnancy that were awful, like 17 weeks of "morning" sickness and random but frequent nose bleeds, still remain unfortunate symptoms of pregnancy that I will NEVER look back on with fondness. However, we have had several days in a row of spring and almost summer-like weather, and it has been glorious for my mood and my activity levels!

I have been wondering when my energy would come back because I've heard that your energy gets back to a more normal level in the second trimester. Well, for me that is apparently at 19 weeks because I have been waking up before my alarm, getting quite a bit done around the house each day, going for either a run or a walk every day, and meeting or exceeding my step goal on my Vivofit! Yay!! I am loving it! I still go to bed early, and sometimes take a short nap in the afternoon, but I don't feel like a zombie all day long.

So, with all the running and walking that I have been getting in, what are the new things that I am experiencing? Round ligament pain shows up in full force now and again. When I tried to run on the trail with Lucy the other day, we ended up just going for a nice long and slow walk because round ligament pain kicked in as soon as I tried to run. When I am able to run, I have a new mental barrier to overcome! I constantly feel like I need to pee so bad when I run. It doesn't matter that I just made a pit stop in the bathroom and tried to squeeze out the tiniest bit of urine while also trying to keep Lucy from sneaking under the stall door and exploring the ladies room! As soon as I take those first "running" steps (let's be honest-- I am slower than slow these days) I feel like I need to pee again. I taped up my little belly with KT tape today before my run, and I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or not, but I didn't have any round ligament pain. Lucy and I were able to do a run-walk that was more running than walking!

My running partners!

The down side is that I know pit stops to the bathroom will be more frequent, and Lucy made it very clear today that she isn't going to cooperate in the bathroom stalls. On top of that, she did cut across in front of me to look at something that caught her eye, and though she doesn't do it often, I would hate to trip over her and get hurt, so it appears at least on days when I am going to be trying to really run and not just walking, I will need to stick to just one running partner in the near future. Sorry, Lucy Goose! I can't leave my other running partner at home yet, but if I could, then you'd be on the trail with me all the time because you might trip me up a little every now and then, but at least you don't push on my bladder the whole time!