Monday, February 22, 2016

Runner's Rambles: Pregnancy and Winter Woes

I was pretty excited going into my second trimester even though I still had bouts of sickness up until 17 weeks. I was doing run-walk on the treadmill on a pretty regular basis, but then at around 14 weeks, I was hit with a new symptom like a ton of bricks. Really, it felt like a ton of bricks was on my chest at all times. The shortness of breath that I've been experiencing is just crazy. I had no idea there were so many symptoms that go along with pregnancy! There are so many things that nobody talks about.

For the past month, I have really been struggling with staying active. Winter is always a struggle for me because of the short daylight hours and the cold. Plus,the cold makes me want comfort food all the time to warm up. I am not a big fan of treadmills, but I am thankful that my in-laws gave us their old treadmill so that I have access to one if I need it. I am ok with running outside in the winter, but I don't feel safe running or walking through my neighborhood while pregnant during the winter. I am doing my best to get into a good routine with the treadmill anyway while I wait for Spring weather to arrive. Some days are a struggle, but hopefully Spring will be here for good soon because my basement is getting pretty boring!

The body image issues are still very very strong for me at this stage, but I'm not sure that I will ever be ok with my pregnant body. I know that it's not something you're supposed to admit, but I do not enjoy being pregnant. When I do voice my feelings about it, I pretty much always get the same responses about how I should be thankful, and you'll immediately want to do it again after giving birth, and children are worth it all, and you're really going to miss it! Sometimes those things are said by women who have their own children, and sometimes they are people who have never been pregnant. Either way, I only feel more annoyed when people tell me those things. This is going to sound like a strange analogy, but I have similar feelings when it comes to alcohol and pregnancy. I have never been a drinker really. I may have a drink here or there, but being drunk and not being in control of my own body is not something that I have ever really thought seemed like a fun thing. Now I have entered into a 40 week journey of not being in control of my own body. There is nothing I can do about the changes my body is going through, I am tired ALL the time, and there are dietary restrictions along with pregnancy. Then on top of it all, there are so many hormonal changes that cause crazy emotional swings and lots of irritability. None of this is my idea of fun. I know there are women out there who absolutely love pregnancy, and that's great for them, but I am not one of those women. Pregnancy is just a far different experience than I had ever in my wildest dreams anticipated it would be. It's tough, but I am sure parenthood is going to be just as tough, so I guess this is my unfortunate prep work.

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