Undecided

Holy turmoil, Batman! I am seriously struggling with making decisions these days. My husband says it's because I am perpetually, irrationally disappointed in my accomplishments. He's probably right, but I am still having a hard time listening to him and everyone else who has advised me over the past week. My brother Joe told me to focus on one goal for this year with my running. My boss, and super-runner, Terry told me to focus in on which goal is most important to me. Two of my co-workers, Sheila and Mark, both told me to chalk the streaking up as a win and move my focus to my other goals. I am just so stubborn...and perpetually, irrationally disappointed in myself, that I am finding it hard to let go.

So, how did the streaking start, and what are my goals for this year? The streaking started as a friendly competition between the staff members at my work. I work for a running specialty store, so you can imagine that I took the challenge on full-force. According to the guidelines of the competition, I officially won today. I completed day 41 streaking, but that is not enough for me for some reason. Probably because I decided last minute that I would also make that my New Year's resolution. I have all kinds of ankle, knee, and Achilles pain with the streaking I am doing, but I am so torn up over the prospect of quitting. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of days when I don't want to run, it's not necessarily the anticipated loss of my coveted daily run. And let's be clear, I love running, but I am just really starting to feel drained.

Since deciding that I would streak this year, I decided to try to meet the initial (Neptune) qualifications for the Half Fanatics club. So I am now trying to get everything lined up to run three half marathons in 90 days this spring. Along with running those three half marathons, I am trying to set a ridiculously impossible new half PR. Keep in mind that I am only on the second week of training for the first of three half marathons, and I am feeling like these new goals on top of streaking is seriously going to be detrimental overall. I have never attempted streaking before, and I have never run more than one major race in a racing season before either, so I can't help but feel like I have taken on too many things at once in true Michelle style. On the other hand, I just keep feeling like quitting the streak would be failing.

Well, I'm not sure where to go from here because I really thought that writing it all out would lead to a clear conclusion. It seems that I was wrong because I still feel just as torn as I was when I started writing this. I guess I will be posting an update at the end of the week!

Runner's Rambles: January is for Dreamers

For the most part, I think about running all day long. I left teaching to work for a running company, so I am really not exaggerating here, folks. I really like running, and I like my job, but it sort of turns out that this is a bit of a blessing and a curse. Why? Because I sure can put quite a bit of pressure on myself. I have been running for a few years now, but I am just getting comfortable calling myself a runner. And I’m not so sure I’m “comfortable” with it at that! I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t have to fit into anyone else’s vision of what a runner is, and that I can and have to decide who I am and what defines me daily.

In the February issue of Runner’s World, Mark Parent wrote a great article for his Newbie Chronicles column.He wrote about the way we change over time, how we define ourselves, and what we are willing to do to reach goals we set for ourselves. He addressed the elephant on the calendar, so to speak, that many people are looking to redefine themselves during this time of year. He took the stance that things like New Year’s resolutions often don’t stick because we associate them closely with an event that happens once a year, which turns the goal into a one shot kind of effort. He writes, “January is a month filled with ghosts of failures past. January is the month of dreamers.” I think I might agree with him on a certain level because I cheated a bit on my New Year’s resolution; I started in December.

Parent remarks, “February is for doers.” I am excited for February. As I sit reflecting on the past two days’ runs that I had to drag myself out the door to do, only just beginning training for my first half marathon this year, I can’t help but look forward to February. I want to be a doer. I want to be a person of action. I want to be excited to act. I think a day will come when streaking just becomes second nature, and that’s the day that I am really looking forward to. For now, I will just keep moving closer to that day, one determined step after another. It is a choice that I will continue to make daily. That’s the thing I have really learned about defining yourself; it is constantly a work in progress.

“Finally, there is a day when you say to yourself, I’m in. This is me.”--Mark Parent

Training and Racing and Streaking! Oh my!

It's that time again! Spring race season will soon be upon us, so training starts tomorrow. As of right now, I have two half marathons and a five miler on the books for this spring. I am not necessarily going to be doing speed workouts for the first of the two half marathons, but I will be continuing to STREAK, so the rest days will actually still be running days for me. The designated "walk" on race week of this schedule will also be a run for me. I am pumped for my half marathon in March because my Anything For 10 sister, Grace, will be joining me again! I will be running the five miler with a co-worker, and then it looks like the second half this spring will be my solo race to focus on smashing my current half PR.

Today was day 32 streaking! I have been Instagramming my streak, so if you want to keep up with me more frequently than my blogging currently allows, then follow me on Instagram @mdickersonruns! I am also sure that training will lead to more introspection and crazy encounters for your enjoyment here on my blog.